Friday, March 27, 2015

Hot Mess of Emotions!

To sum up the past week in a nut shell I would say... Heavenly Father is trying to make a joke out of my life. Let me just vent for a moment about the craziness we happen to stubble upon here in Oregon. To put it simply; SO many cars have the SAME bumper sticker which states "keep Oregon weird" ....I'm gonna say that accomplishing that goal has been a MAJOR success! It surely has come to pass right before our eyes. There's Never a dull moment! This week was one filled with ups and downs, unlike anything I have experienced thus far on my mission. Laughing, crying, stalking, yelling, counseling, frustration, anxiety, and my personal favorite,  reading my scriptures while crying/laughing about my day! Were just some of the emotions and activities that ole Sister Z participated in last week.

I'm am currently in the process of re-reading the Book Of Mormon. I'm in Alma 50. It's my goal to finish it before I go home. Ekk! Knowing the date and time of when I will be released is sooo surreal and so scary.,....... blah. Anyways I have come to LOVE THE SCRIPTURES SOOOOOO MUCH on my mission. Our Zone has also been studying the Christ-like Attributes... which are found in Preach My Gospel. This past week we studied about Humility. Humility is an attribute I don't think I will master until I get to the other side. But that's okay :) None of us are perfect, right??

I am torn between my longing to come home, to see my family, to meet my sisters, to return to school and "life" and my yearning to serve The Lord, my desire to be his servant, my love of teaching the Gospel. Every day I wake it's one day closer to the end of my mission, and I feel a sense of loss already. I pray I have served strong enough, that I have given all that I could; that I touched others lives as much as so many have touched mine. Each night after our prayers I lay thinking, could I have done more, are there those that I passed by today that I should have spoken to? With weeks left to serve, I am a hot mess of emotions! My gratitude for this mission is far too great to put into one message...this week, I am most grateful that while serving I discovered my love of: 
Ether 12:27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Countless times I sought and found both comfort and solace in these words. I encourage all my friends and family to feast upon the words in the scriptures, find your mantra....find the words you need to gain the direction you seek, they ARE there! All we have to do is read, ponder and pray upon them! Ah...it really is THAT simple! DUH!

Oh, BTW I'm coming home! April 15th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!