Forgive!

TRANSFERRED!!!! OH ME OH MY! Due to said transfer I was asked

to give a talk on forgiveness and my....the soul searching and personal

struggles I had to go through to write those words...my lesson this week

is forgiveness...here are some portions of my talk:

Good morning brothers and sisters, I have three goals with my talk today…

#1 to make sure no one falls asleep,

#2 that someone other than the person who assigned me this talk, will

walk away knowing what I spoke about today

#3 to ensure before I leave the “Bend Ward” that everyone is clear on

exactly how fantastically awesome Sis Z is! :)

In life things happen to us, as children we often think bad things

only happen to us or that we are the only ones that make wrong

choices….it’s easy to look at someone and think their load is lighter

than ours or no true trial can ever have touched their perfected

world….my mom use to always tell me that no one’s life is easy, that

if everyone in the world put their shoes in a pile and all the hurt,

all the worry, the pain, the loss, the despair, that each trial faced

in life were attached to each persons shoes, that we would always chose

our own….no one can live the life you live for it is yours alone…

..................

In each of our lives there are times when we will seek forgiveness or

extend forgiveness. What is it to forgive? Why must we forgive hurt

done unto us?

D&C 64:9-10 says...

9. Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for

he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned

before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

10. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is

required to forgive all men.

In all our forgiving and seeking forgiveness, we must recognize that,

despite whatever restitution we may be capable of providing or

receiving, our efforts and those of others are woefully insufficient

to meet the demands of eternal justice. How, then, is true forgiveness

possible? Paul, in speaking to the Ephesians, wrote that it is in

Christ that “we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of

sins, according to the riches of his grace” (Eph. 1:7).

The blessings that flow from the gift of forgiveness are many. Chief

among them is peace. It is the Savior’s desire that we each feel His

peace. He said: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. …

Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John

14:27). The forgiveness we offer to others and the forgiveness we

receive from Jesus Christ lead us to Him and along the path to eternal

life.

Because of the Savior’s perfect love for us, He willingly forgives us

if we truly repent. In return, He has asked us to be like Him and

forgive one another. It is through the Saviors infinite sacrifice that

enables you and I to forgive those who "trespass against us...

I knew once a young girl...a child of 8 years old, she was her mother’s

pride, her first born and all the family adored her. She saw life

through the eyes of a child, her imagination was unending, she brought

laughter where ever she went, and she lived life to the fullest every

minute of every day. She decided to be baptized, and her mother’s

husband, not her father by blood but, the man who had raised her and

had recently been baptized himself would perform the ordinance. What a

blessing, she glowed with anticipation and joy; family flew in from

across the country to be present for her day! She was filled with the

love of our Heavenly Father as she exited the waters and she wept as

her grandfather laid his hands upon her head confirming her as a

member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Eight years

old and her life was like a dream….the next week after family flew

home and she sat watching a movie, with only the cares of if would mom

order pizza tonight or not….there was this happening….at 8 she learned

that others can be in charge of her happiness, the agency of others

can dictate who we are….on a still night, while in the safety of her home,

she was broken…never to be “just a child” again….what had she done to

cause this…did her mother know….why didn't the Lord protect her…for

years she suffered in anguish, she questioned her worth, she feared the

night….there was no escape the life surrounding her and she

crumbled….to see this girl let go, was heartbreaking, what had

happened they wondered?!….her mother begged…..her bishop asked what

can we do? And still she fell….deeper and further…trying to escape the

tragedy of life awaiting her inside the walls of her home, holding

ever tighter to the secrets she kept within..…7 years she languished,

trying to hold on to who she was, who she used to be, who everyone else

thought she was….until finally the truth saw the light and her mother

took her siblings and she to safety….all pieces of shattered and

broken…there she was, and she raged with fury – she lashed out at her

mother, at her Father in Heaven, and at her family, she tore and

ripped at all these pictures of perfect and happy…she was spiraling out

of control and SO WHAT she thought?! She looked into the mirror

one day and thought "to all who know me….I am lost….I am empty...

I am broken."

It was there on the edge of giving up and giving  in, that through the

power and the blessing of the atonement that she found her way back to

the Lord and back to church, it was through the power of forgiveness

and healing that….. I, that 8 year old girl, I used to know and can never be

again, was able to forgive those who have forever changed the course of

both my life and theirs ….applying the atonement in my life is what

changed me from being the girl who felt utterly alone...  into the

servant of Lord that stands before you now.

I am here today as a living witness to the power of forgiveness through

the blessing of the atonement. My parting words to you my beloved

brothers and sisters is this: Forgive! Being unable to forgive

either ourselves or others is a small darkness inside us, although

unseen, even unfelt…over time the dark takes over unintended light,

slow and ever changing, ever growing…as the shadows of swallowed anger

or shame filled pride will turn you...will turn us bitter. It’s hard and requires

strength but, you must practice the miracle of forgiveness as it is the only

way to truly be free!

May we always remember what our beloved prophet Thomas S. Monson

taught us at this last general conference..."Blame keeps wounds open.

Only forgiveness heals." The overwhelming message of the Atonement is

the perfect love the Savior has for each and all of us. His love is

full of mercy, patience, grace, long-suffering, forgiveness and, above

all, healing.

I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Please send all mail to:

Sister Kiarra Zubicki

700 Deborah Road Suite 260

Newberg Oregon, 97132 

STAY TOGETHER!

We were supposed to go on exchanges with the 2 Sister Training Leaders that are over the sisters in our area. The exchange was scheduled for Friday night through Saturday morning. All day Friday Sis E and I felt like we shouldn't be going on this exchange. I honestly felt sick to my stomach about it. We finally called the STL's (sister training leaders) on the way to meet them and asked if the spirit had told them they needed to go on this exchange. The Sister we were speaking to paused and said "ummmmm, well why?" When we told them we both felt that this exchange was not an event that we should take part in, they asked us to meet them at the church. The STL's told us that they too had awaken that morning not feeling "good or right" about the exchange but, had chalked it up to "nothing" and decided to go forward with it. We all knelt and prayed and the four of us together felt confirmation from the spirit that we should not go. Nothing happened to any of us, we are all safe and healthy....as I write this to you today I say without a shadow of a doubt I am certain that would not have been the case had we ignored the promptings and did our "duty" rather than follow the spirit saying unto us "Sisters, stay together, stay home and no harm nor danger shall come to you."

Listen! Put down the phone, turn off the television, tune into your Father in Heaven and LISTEN! He speaks to us, even when we have asked no questions....there is the voice, the guidance, the spirit that is with us, that has the power to lead and direct us. Never have I been so certain that the course of our lives were destine to change had we not heeded to the prompting we were given.

#thestruggleisreal

(yes as a missionary I can still hash tag!)

~Our toilet seat broke (Eggie)

~Humongous fire is 2 miles from our home & we are preparing to be evacuated

~Went caving almost broke my ankle!

~Pretty sure we almost ended up in a well in the basement (flash back to "it puts the lotion on its skin!") <---- different extremely freaky/scary story, maybe next time :)

I love the pictures of my sissys, seriously mom tell dad he HAS to fix Cookies hair in the morning! Mick you are SO beautiful and your letters make me laugh out loud, I can't wait till we get to have sister days again! Granny (not her real Granny, that's a nickname for Scout her sister) you make my heart happy, Sis E and I love getting all your letters and pictures, they make me shig! :)

Kiss Pippee and Say-Say and tell them big Sis loves them!

Mommy and daddy I could not do this without the love and support and food and money and cards and toys and letters and emails and cookies and pictures and snacks and poems and treats and stories and all the other 1000 things you send me every day....you are THE BEST!

XOXO

Sis Z

Come on Sistas we GOT this!

Hey Guys!

It's been a really long blazing hot week. Bend is really starting to

look a lot like AZ... Hot, dry, and deserted.  It's sad, yet familiar

:)

Apparently I have allergies... I literally have ALL the symptoms

described on the Claritin commercials! It's out of control! This past

week has been really slow. We haven't had a ton of success but we have

been working really hard. Our days have been filled with service and

trying to find those wanting to be "found." We had a mission wide conference

on Wednesday... With our mission president and Elder Martino (member of

the 70). I had to give the opening prayer and I was so nervous but I

survived :) BARELY!!!! President Samuelian told Eggie and I that this

will definitely be our last transfer together, we cried, he did too.

As summer has blossomed here in Bend, no one is EVER home!

Even our bishop is leaving this Friday for a 3 week vacation!

We have 2 investigators that are progressing  really well right now.

We will be setting E--- on date for baptism this week so pray

that things go well!

Had a lesson with a 20 yr told kid named N---. We were talking about

how Christ was the perfect example for all mankind and he goes, "well

some would say he was a perfect example, I would disagree." Yep

definitely thought lightning was gonna strike us all at that moment haha!

On Saturday we had the chance to go with the Spanish missionaries to

one of the investigators they are working with for dinner. They live

in Tumalo which is about 20 min from where we are in Bend. We had a

barbecue, and roasted s'mores over the fire they had in their back

yard. The family is from Paraguay. The mom speaks very little English

so she couldn't understand us that well but they thought Eggie and I

were hilarious, well Duh! :)

This week my lesson is on self reliance....as women, as daughters of our Father in Heaven we have been given all the strength, all the power, all the endurance that we need, to do....whatever it is that we have the desire to do. So much of my life I spent questioning if I could, there were things I would want to do, things I thought I should do but myself doubt, my un-assuredness in myself would keep me on the side lines.

In D&C 26-28 it says:

26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

27 Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

28 For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.

We should be doing all that we must, serving in our church callings, acting as member missionaries, caring for our families, paying our debts, obeying the commandments...there is NO reason, save self doubt that we cannot do what we must! Sisters of Zion I say stand up! You are a mighty force to be reckoned with, do not stand by meekly declaring yourself as the "weaker," we are the mothers, the wives, the children of our Heavenly Father and there is NOTHING we cannot accomplish! Find what it is that makes you wonder, search for the questions that make you doubt, look inside yourself and find the scary place and then do it! Run the marathon, start school, cut your hair, volunteer, join a club, say no, say yes...do what it is that you have thought you couldn't and then don't stop, press forward! We as daughters, and mothers, and future mothers must never give in to the darkness of doubt....my mothers favorite quote from her father has always been "You have two feet, no one is going to follow you around holding you up. Use what you have been blessed with and stand up!"

For fast Sunday we fasted for a good week and success in trying to

find people to teach! I'm praying that The Lord will answer our

prayers!

Hope everything is going great back home!

Love you all!

Send me lots of LOVE!!!

XOXO

Sis Z

(Felt like sending a picture of us in the snow would somehow diminish the over powering heat....I don't think it's working)